Youtube

What is something you like that others don’t “understand”? Is it a specific activity you do that your friends think is weird? A type of literature that people you hang out with don’t read? Is it something your friends do that you partake in more frequently because of personal interest? The last one is what I want to talk about today because with that one I can speak from my own personal experiences. What am I talking about exactly? Well, prepare yourselves because my thoughts and feelings about Youtube are finally coming out. This should be fun.

As many people know I have somewhat of an affinity for Youtube. I have an account, follow many people on there who regularly post videos and have even tried my hand at posting videos as well (figured out pretty quickly that I had no idea what I was doing and stopped though). My point is that I consider Youtube a major interest/hobby of mine. Some people probably think this is weird or bizarre and some people have even outright told me it is. To most people Youtube is simply a website with a ton of videos about everything so if you need to find something to laugh at just go there because it is basically Wikipedia in video form. Basically, to most people it is a time-waster so when most people hear I am very involved and interested in Youtube they think I am just a lazy bum who sits around and watched videos all day for no reason whatsoever. To me (and many others around the world) Youtube is much more than that though.

Youtube is my escape from reality. Many people usually put something like reading, writing, watching movies, playing video games, or baking in this category. I put Youtube. I’m interested in everything else I just mentioned (aside from baking since I have zero skill) and do use them at times as an escape as well but Youtube is the main one for me. If I am having a bad day at work or am just having a crappy day in general I know that when I get home I will have certain Youtube videos from people I am subscribed to waiting in my subscription box. It gives me something to look forward to. Mondays generally suck because it is the beginning of the week, but just knowing that Philip Defranco, Nicepeter, the Vlogbrothers, and maybe even Chuggaaconroy are going to post videos makes my day better. Most of you probably have no idea who any of those people are and that is fine by me. Go and check them out if you are curious. The fact of the matter is that regardless if I am in depression, angry at a friend, exhausted and unsure of what to do with my life, or something else, I know that I can go to Youtube, open up a video by one of them, and be assured at least 3 ½ minutes of escape from reality. Yes, that isn’t much, but it helps me to get my head on straight and think clearly. Sometimes all you need to do to turn your day around is to just smile and laugh and those Youtubers – as well as many others – help me to do that.

So, if you still think Youtube is simply a website and any person who does more than just watch a video or two recommended to them is weird, that is fine by me. Think that way if you want to. It will mean more to me regardless of what anyone thinks because I know that I will still get enjoyment out of it even if others do not understand it. Case in point, there was a Youtube concert tour called the Digitour that came to Lawrence this past summer. It was basically a tour of musicians on Youtube that had gained some popularity to the outside world. I told some friends about it and they thought it was “cool” but no one was interested in going, so I decided to go alone. That was the best concert I have ever been to. I met a ton of awesome people who understood my love for Youtube because they had the same interest in it, and I got to hear some of the best live music I have ever heard by some people I have gotten to know over the months simply through them posting videos for me and the world to see. I honestly could not have asked for more, and I will simply continue to be grateful that this website exists for not only my enjoyment and well-being but for others as well.

Enter into my brain for a minute

I wouldn’t consider myself a selfish person (although we all are in some way), but man I wish something could go my way right now. My life isn’t exactly crumbling around me, but my life at the moment is revolving 100% around work and I just want that to change. My week basically consists of me going to work and then me being exhausted when I get home from work. Rinse, repeat. That is no bueno. There is so much pressure on me at work right now that all I can think about is not screwing up, but that doesn’t seem to work out very well because things have not gotten better and the pressure just continues to build. I just wish I could take a break and just breathe, but that is not possible with everything that is being thrown at me right now. Every day I go into work wondering if it will be my last day. With the conversations I have had with my boss I am just expecting her to pull the trigger sometime soon and just fire me. Many people have told me this fear is ridiculous and I want to believe them, but I still expect it. I cannot deny it any longer: I have an insane amount of pressure on me right now and I cannot deal with it all by myself. The hardest part is I don’t know who to tell that to. Usually people just say “it will be ok” and “you’re doing well” but don’t have any opportunity to actually help me physically with what I need to accomplish. I’m afraid to tell some people because I don’t want to look weak in this position because then I’ll be afraid even more that I will be fired.
There are times when I seriously feel like either my head is going to explode or my heart is just going to stop because of the stress I have felt recently. There are times at work when I will just grab my chest because it my heart hurts so bad from the stress. That is not healthy. The worst part about it is that I cannot see an end to this. I wish I could say I do, but I do not. Even with my new boss I do not see how this can get to a point where I can enjoy my job again. Call me cynical all you want, I am fine with that. Trust me though, I want to be optimistic, but it is very hard to be optimistic when you cannot see a light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve gotten to the point where I am just praying like crazy before every shift because I’m so afraid of what could happen. I just beg God to give me strength to get through the work day and to allow me another day of financial support from my job. I know I should always be doing this, but I want to do it out of joy and gratefulness not out of desperation and fear.
If you are wondering why I am still working there if I’m having all these problems, don’t get me wrong, I’m trying to find a way out. I have been looking for a new job since January and have been unsuccessful. The hardest part is finding a place in Lawrence or KC (Topeka as well, but preferably not) that either fits my qualifications or is entry-level with fairly good pay. In a perfect world I just want to find something I could easily start with that also requires a college degree. That way I would have time to learn the job while still feeling like the 4 years at KU meant something. I have interviewed with a number of places but none of them have worked out. I’m always good but not great enough to be hired. I’m just hoping and praying something works out soon, both for my professional interests and for my health because I’m not sure how much longer I can take this stress.
I’m going to end this with a request directed at two different groups of people. To those who work with me: please do not pass this around at work and talk about it. I am posting this for eyes to see as a public blog, but if my managers found out I am thinking about leaving I do not know how much worse work would be. I am willing to take that risk since I am the one putting these thoughts out there, but I want to make sure people know how I am feeling so I’m willing to take that risk. I am just hoping you adhere to my request. To everyone else: please pray that I could find peace in my current job and would have more success in finding another job. I know the power of prayer first-hand, so simply having you all lift me up would help out immensely.

90

There I was goin’ 90
Miles an hour straight into my destiny
Woken up by an oak tree
Trying to take me to eternity
And I began wondering, “why did this happen to me?”
Why am I the one dealing with this tragedy?
I blamed God for this monstrosity
Thinking he had no sympathy
No empathy
No words that could fix me
Then I began wondering if he was even the real thing
I can’t hear the angels sing
All I can hear is the blaring
Of these sirens, the glaring
Of my roommates eyes and the staring
Of people on the side of the road which got me thinking
Maybe God is just a shtick
No proof like in mathematics
Just some magic tricks
As frail as pick-up sticks
As real as the river Styx
Oh man this is making me pissed!
So let’s calm down and make a list
Of all the points I have missed
In my anger
Why am I thinking this way?
What do my friends have to say?
Is there a reason why I came out unhurt from this dismay?
Then I began to say
That I began to see
What He had done in my life and eternity
He began to show me
His humbly
incredibly
beautifully
powerfully
designed world and I simply had to be
part of it to be included
which I then concluded
meant he had to be real
I didn’t have to feel
Like I had to deal
with my ways alone
Because His ways are as strong as steel
And if I can deal
With it then so can you
Yes, this might be hard, but it isn’t if you know what you are fighting for
I don’t hide behind paper doors
Hope to live in a heaven on glass floors
I don’t believe in weak crap like thatanymore
I know I stand firm on stone
I know I will never be alone
Because God would never disown
One of his children even if they want to leave home
My world crumbled into a heap
Because I, not God, fell asleep
And I had to dig deep
To realize that the battle is almost always steep
And if we don’t take a leap
Of faith we will never get even a peep
At what is in our plan.
90 miles an hour into a tree
Is what it took me
To fully believe in His destiny
I pray that you would be stronger biblically
Spiritually
And humbly
Realize that you don’t want to end up like me
At the end of that tragedy
Because while I was fine physically
I lost what mattered to me spiritually.
And while I am following him fully
Now, you may not be so lucky.

Observations

Matt is doing research. Jess is doing math homework. Ross is playing games. I am writing this. Music is playing upstairs. Ross is talking with Jess. I and Matt are silent. Girls next to us are doing homework. Jon is doing his coffee thing.
Observation is a fascinating thing and most people pay way too much attention to it. Looking and listening to people around me I can figure out a number of things. Based off of the music and noises I hear upstairs I can conclude that the people up there either have an interest in dancing or have an interest in someone else who is dancing. I know Jon works here because I see him behind the counter helping customers. I know these girls near me are students because of the conversation they are having and the material in front of them. However, do I know if anything is bothering Matt because he is doing research? No. Do I know what Jon struggles with in his faith because he works here? No. Do I know these girls’ fears just because they are working on homework? No. Observation is a necessity in life, but it is up to us to decide how much we use it and that choice is more important than people think.
There is no way of telling a person’s life based solely off of what they are wearing or what they have. That person with the nice laptop could have gotten it from his parents as a gift while he is struggling to scrounge up enough money to pay rent. Those two girls sitting next to me could be having a great time while they are here, but for all I know one of them could be tormented because she likes the ex of the other and doesn’t know how to tell her and is afraid to say anything because she doesn’t want to ruin the friendship she has. Observation is based solely off of surface which is where it needs to stay. Even though I know the general area of where a person’s heart is when I see them, I couldn’t tell you how their heart is or what they are passionate about. These questions can only be answered by getting to know the people around you.
The idea for this topic hit me tonight but what helped spur it was a video I saw today about this little kid from Africa talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s movie Commando. 9-year-old Alex knew this movie so well and he gave the entire plot with sound effects and movements and everything. It was a great thing to watch. However, what struck me the most was the end of the video. The video ended with a few statements, the most significant ones being “Alex is not an orphan” and “Alex is not a guerrilla fighter.” We have this general idea of kids in Africa being troubled, parent-less and constantly having to make the decision to fight in some way. This video campaign is there to show us that that is not the case at all. Alex is just a typical 9-year-old boy. He likes movies and having fun and he is a very bright kid. However, without the description of the video and the graphics before and after it, most people would probably think Alex was another troubled kid in Africa. They probably would have thought he was in a refugee camp needing food and he just so happened to be the lucky one who got to be on camera. These ideas of what other people are like constantly bombard us because it is easier for us to think that this person is impoverished than to choose to love them and care about them just because of a video that was seen online.
I am also guilty of this on a daily basis. Working in retail I see tons of people come in and out of the front doors and I know there is definitely a few times a day when I make snap judgments on people, sometimes without even realizing it. I have the luxury of actually going up and talking to these people, but helping them find an item usually is not a window into getting to know who they truly are. I found this out the hard way a couple weeks ago. A lady came into the store and wanted a lot of housewares items, more than the typical customer. She was getting place settings and plates, and a vacuum, and some pots and pans, etc. You name it, she probably got it. Well, to start up conversation I asked her if she was moving somewhere because she was getting a ton of new stuff. I come to find out she has finally decided to divorce her abusive husband after 20 years and let him keep the house so she basically needs to start over. I was shocked by what I was hearing and part of me was slightly regretting asking her, but I am really glad I did ask her. This lady was broken and needed someone to talk to. I would not have known that if I would have simply helped her and gone on my way.
The other reason I wanted to write this is because I began thinking about my own life and what people observe with me. I have no idea what people’s observations are of me, but I know for a fact they have no idea what is going on underneath the surface. I know that because no one knows that and even if the person came up and talked with me they still might not find that out. I am very good at masking emotions and whether it is lying to someone about how I am or simply looking happy in a public place I will try and make sure people do not realize the turmoil I am going through. For me, my problems have always been my problems and I don’t want anyone else to know about them because I’m afraid people will simply brush them off and deem them worthless or will judge me for them. The truth is though; those are the times, at least for me, when I need people to ask me how I’m doing and what is wrong. For me that is the only way I will open up.
If you don’t understand this then I am not surprised. I write what comes out of my brain with few filters. I wish this were more focused and less scatter-brained but as long as my point comes across clearly I do not care how it is written. The bottom line is this: don’t make snap judgments. Observing something is one thing, taking it a step further and assuming something is something else entirely. Everyone in this world struggles with something, so don’t be jealous of someone else or “hate” someone else just because it seems like they have it better than you. Doing that will simply make you selfish wondering why people aren’t paying attention to your problems. Trust me: people do care about your problems and do want to know who you are behind what we observe. Sometimes you just have to take initiative in fostering those friendships and conversations with people around you.
Now I sit here. I have moved locations. I am now in my apartment. In my bedroom. At my desk. Looking around wondering what judgments people would make based off of what is in my room. In the end though it doesn’t matter because whether they thought bad of me or not based off of my room, they still don’t know me. This is simply a snapshot of my life. If you want to know me then ask me.
My name is Steven Griswold and I am a recent graduate trying to figure out how to live in this crazy world. Who are you?

Spill

Wow, it has been a long time. Fail on my part. I said I would try and update this once a week and then I wait a month and a half to update it. Whoops. Things haven’t exactly gone as planned lately. Forgive me.

Anyways, as many of you have heard by now I am currently unemployed. While my last job was great it was not bringing in the money needed so I decided I needed a change. Now I’m unaware of what will happen and am quite honestly scared that I just screwed up the best thing for me. I’ve gotten remarks and comments on both sides of the spectrum of whether or not quitting that job was a good idea but everyone still says that they hope I’m able to find something soon, which I expect. Whenever you’re going through a hard time everyone says they are sorry to hear it and hope it gets better. Not everyone might mean what they say but everyone says it regardless. This whole shaky time in my life has got me to thinking some things, which is never a good thing, and I began to wonder when I would be able to tell if things had gotten better.

Getting better is such a relative term. It’s similar to being rich. To one person rich could be having a thousand dollars in the bank account while to another rich could mean 10 million dollars. The term is completely different for every person in some way and the same can be said for getting better as well. To one person in my situation getting better could mean getting any job possible and just having some form of steady income while to another it could mean a long-term position that is paying at least 50,000 a year. To someone else it could mean something else entirely and regardless of what the term means to each person the end result will always be different as well. By that I mean it is completely up to the person in the situation to determine whether or not they are better at the present time. They could have gotten better financially but are now trying to get better in their health or in their relationships. The term is universal and chances are that very few people, if anyone, have fully “gotten better”.

You may be wondering why I’m telling you this and frankly right now I am not sure. Like most of my notes and blogs, I am typing this first and then will think later. I tend to spill out my thoughts which actually ends up being some very articulate piece for some reason. I guess you could call it a gift. Anyways, the phrase getting better has really been on my mind lately because right now it doesn’t seem like anything is getting better. I live unemployed and alone in Topeka where I know no one with very little money in my bank account. Not exactly the best situation to be in and those are not the only parts of my life that need to change. My point is that every single one of us needs to get better in some way whether we realize it or not. No one can stay stagnant because chances are that if you stand still you will end up moving backwards. It is impossible to reach a goal when you are not moving towards it. I have been experiencing this first hand in the last couple of weeks. Times have been hard and it seems like nothing is really going my way. I actually just drove 7 hours to home on a whim this past weekend simply because I needed to be in a safe environment for once. Life is rough, which is a fact, but the only way that will change is if I want it to change. Am I scared that it won’t? Definitely, but that isn’t going to stop me from trying. I cannot predict the future and God is the only one that knows what is in store for me. I simply have to take steps to move forward and see where that takes me, and you should do the same.

I hope that things to get better in the next couple weeks and months for me and for whoever is reading this, but most importantly I know that once those things are better there is always something that needs to get better as well. Nobody’s perfect (Miley Cyrus song woohoo!) but people can still be great. Also realize that your definition of getting better might not be the right definition. Some people might not consider having 2 kids and a middle-class income as getting better but if that is what is dealt to you then take advantage of it. Realize that certain things will always seem rough and there will always be something that is making you ask “why me?” regardless of how small it is. Things happen for a reason but nobody ever sat down and waited for things to work in their favor. They took action and made their own destiny. Did they know how it was going to turn out? No, but they had confidence that what they were doing was going to help them in the future and that is really all we can do right now. Things might not be great for you right now and trust me when I say that I feel your pain. However, there is no reason to simply sit down and mope about it because it can get better, but only if you are willing to let it get better. It won’t be easy but no one ever said it was supposed to be easy.

I hope this wasn’t too much of a ramble, but like I said earlier I write and then think. I promise to try and update this now at least once a week and hopefully it will work out better than my last promise on this blog. Take care everyone and God bless.

Grizzy

A reflection and an update

First off, let me preface this really quickly. This was written on August 7^th. I waited a couple weeks to post it for a number of reasons; the main one being that I wanted to make sure those of you that are still in school would be back and would be able to read this update. This note is written in two parts. The first part is a reflection on my 4 years in college and what I have experienced spiritually during those years. The last part specifically deals with my last note and an update on that. I have provided headings to each part just in case you only want to read my update on my last note. Enjoy!

Note: this was originally posted to facebook and meant for facebook, so I apologize for its references in this note.

Part 1: A Reflection

As I sit here in my new apartment in Topeka without internet, I realize that I have a lot more time on my hands than usual. I also realize how much I truly depend on the internet and how much time I did actually spend on it. Anyways, this lack of internet has given me an opportunity to watch movies and TV shows I have not seen in a while and look through some old things I’ve collected in the past. By looking through these things I’ve begun to reflect on my college career – specifically in the spiritual sense - and what these past four years have really meant to me. Moving to Topeka where I know absolutely no one reminds me of how many people I do truly know in Lawrence. However, Lawrence pretty much started out the exact same way as Topeka has. Yes, I did know one person when I came to KU. However, I unfortunately had a falling out with that person the first week of school and she ended up transferring back home after fall semester, so technically I knew no one. Now, you need to realize my thoughts during this first week of school. I became a Christian my senior year of high school (if you’ve never heard the story let me know. I’d love to tell it to you) so one of my biggest priorities when coming to KU was finding a group of Christians to hang out with. Luckily that took absolutely no time whatsoever and without me even knowing it I joined that group before I even got to KU.

After I graduated high school I got facebook and I was eager to friend a ton of people and join as many groups as possible, including groups at KU. While doing that I unknowingly joined a group called Campus Crusade for Christ at KU. I actually left the group a week later because I realized it was a student group and I wasn’t sure if I could be a part of it. I found out pretty quickly when I got to KU that I was definitely going to be a part of it. From the first time I set foot at the freshmen BBQ, I knew CRU was where I was supposed to be. Everyone seemed so loving and it seemed like God had just opened my eyes to what a Christian community should look like. This continued to the first weekly meeting where I was volunteered to participate in a game where I made a fool of myself. I don’t regret it in the least bit and I’m actually thankful for it because it busted open the shell I am so used to being in around new people. From then on, CRU became my new home. I met a ton of people, made some great friends, and learned and grew so much. My entire freshmen year was a time of growth and struggle, but in a good way. God says that he had to prune us to help us to grow even more, and I truly felt that. While I had pain, overall it was joyful. That first year my biggest regret was by far not answering God’s call to go to Vail, CO for a 10-week project with CRU. I got accepted and chickened out after seeing the amount I had to raise. That began the worst summer of my life. I couldn’t find a job so I spent the entire summer watching TV and doing nothing, slowly falling backwards in my walk with God.

As sophomore year started it seemed like I did not know much more than what I knew when freshmen year started, which would come back to haunt me very quickly. I was accepted as an RA in the dorms and was excited for that opportunity. I moved into McCollum a week earlier than everyone else for training and I was getting pumped for what my residents would be like. Unfortunately, at first I actually hated what I saw from my residents. I was still in this Christian bubble that I had been in for a couple years. Almost everyone I knew was either Christian or really didn’t care and it was never talked about. Knowing that, you’ll understand the shock and fear I had when on move-in day I came to find out from talking with some of my residents that there were at least 5 residents of mine who were either atheist or agnostic and they had some big opinions on the matter. I did not know what to do. Their ideas got into my head and to make matters worse during this time someone from back home who I went to church with turned completely away from religion. I did not know what to think. I knew nothing about apologetics and frankly didn’t want to learn either. I had been taught for the last two years that God is truth and I accepted that without studying on my own. Having these people question this, and me not having any way of giving evidence, hurt me….a lot. This doubt continued, but I still felt the need to participate in CRU and go to church and everything. I was indebted in CRU and it was the one thing I could count on every week. It was the only concrete thing in my life at the time. This uncertainty, though, persisted and I truly don’t remember exactly when it stopped. I think I just made the decision one day to follow God again. It made sense at the time, but later I would regret not knowing what the heck I did in that situation.

That summer went by with me in Myrtle Beach for a summer project with CRU. It was an amazing experience, as was Orlando the summer after my junior year, but in both situations I can’t help but feel like I cheated God in some way. I look back on both summers and it is hard for me to not dwell on what I did wrong and could have done differently. I grew a ton, but I stunted my own growth by not listening and doing my own thing. This behavior continued through my junior and senior year. I continued helping with CRU and was even becoming a leader, and a pretty big leader at that. By my senior year I was treasurer, bible study leader in McCollum, and leading the social team, among other duties throughout the year. However my senior year was truly no different than my junior year. I continued to rely on what was in front of me and not what was beyond. I still believed in God for sure, but I did absolutely nothing to grow closer to Him. I simply considered my three or four nights a week helping with CRU to be my fix, and house meeting where we prayed went in there too. This is how my entire senior year went and as I look back on it I regret that because even though that was true, I was still able to impact a ton of people. I can only imagine how many more people I would have been able to impact if I was actually making an effort to grow closer to the Lord outside of CRU.

Part 2: An Update

You’re probably wondering why I’m writing all of this and why I’m publishing this on facebook. Well, as many of you know I was in a pretty serious accident this past May. If you are not aware, I fell asleep at the wheel, tried bringing the car back onto the road, lost control, hit a van, and then careened into a ditch and smacked head on into a tree going 90, totaling the car I was driving at the time. While I am still feeling the pain of that accident financially, I walked away with nothing wrong physically other than a minor scratch on my hand. However, while I should have died in the crash (the police officer confirmed that) for all intensive purposes I did. Spiritually, I was gone. My faith in God left when I hit that tree because I distinctly remember praying for God’s safety on that ride home. Minutes later I am waking up watching the car go into the gravel on the left side of the highway. Then I lost control altogether. The big thing to remember is that I really wasn’t spending time with God at all. It was simply CRU. So, my view of God wasn’t the greatest. I asked Him for things I wanted and never talked to Him again. This is the same as what happened the day of the crash. My mind was in a whirlwind. I didn’t know what to think, so I blamed the easiest person: God. I got into a rhythm where if anything bad happened, I blamed God and got angry with Him. This time was no different. I blamed Him at first, but then I began thinking about whether or not he was truly there at all. I was taught that he was supposed to keep us safe from danger. Yeah, I was completely fine, but I SHOULD have died.

That got me to thinking maybe he was not keeping us safe. Actually, maybe he is simply not there at all. This began processing in my head. While I was thinking about this I still truly had no emotion and had no idea who to turn to, so it continued to process in my head. That was until I decided to publish it and let everyone know. In that note I stated very clearly that at that point in time I was agnostic. I wanted to believe God was there because that is what I was taught, but I had nothing to go off of to support that argument. This statement led to many responses from people I have talked to a lot and others who surprised me by responding. However the biggest surprise to me was three of my roommates wanting to meet with me. I agreed reluctantly and met with them. In hindsight it was a very good meeting and very necessary, but at the time I did not want to explain anything. I was set on this mindset and I was going to figure it out for myself in my own time. So I did that. I set out to figure out whether or not God was real. My skepticism continued for quite a while, but I was attempting to figure out whether or not God was truly there. In my mind I still wanted Him to be real, so I used that mindset to figure things out. I read A Case for Faith by Lee Strobel and even though I never actually finished the book it had the answers I was looking for. Those foundational points I needed my sophomore year and somehow jumped over were finally there. It simply took my whole faith castle crumbling down for me to finally be able to start a stronger foundation. Through this, I also began praying and reading more. It was summer and all I was doing was taking classes. No summer projects; no CRU; just classes. This was the best thing for me. Not having the safety net that CRU had become for me to fall back on, I realized how important it was for me to be in charge of my own walk with God. I was able to read and pray more than I had done on my own since freshmen year. Through that I was finally able to actually grow personally in my walk with God. I realized that my time in CRU consisted of me wanting to make sure everyone else was growing and felt welcome, but I forgot completely about my own spiritual well-being. It took being rocked to the core and not having CRU to realize this.

I say this as I’m sitting in my apartment, alone but not alone. I know that there is at least one other person in this apartment with me, and I am desperately seeking Him every day. You may still be wondering why I’m writing all this down and publishing it for you to read. Well, quite simply, it took a near-death experience, something that should have been my last experience on Earth, for me to realize these things. I can only hope and pray that it would not take something as severe for you to realize how truly important it is to seek Him in your own time as much as possible and to make sure that the foundation of your faith is strong and willing to be tested. I was blessed with a second chance. You might not be, so please take advantage of the time that you still have and get to know Him more.

Resting in Him,

Steven

Welcome!

I write this at 4:30 in the morning as I watch the movie Maverick. Great movie, by the way. Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster star. It's a great poker flick although the last 30 to 45 minutes trumps the rest of the movie easily. It is one of the few movies that I can fast forward to the last half of the movie and not care one bit. The poker scene is simply amazing. It makes me wish I had the time and money to play more. One of my dreams is to someday go to the World Series of Poker. I doubt I could win but a good portion of poker is luck so knowing that I think I might have a shot.

Anyways, let me just welcome you to this blog. The updates on here will hopefully be once a week if not more. My first full post will be on Thursday although it will be something that was written about two weeks ago that has not been posted yet. So, knowing that, I will hopefully have a real present blog post up by next week. Until then, I hope you have a great week and I will hopefully hear form all of you soon.