Observations

Matt is doing research. Jess is doing math homework. Ross is playing games. I am writing this. Music is playing upstairs. Ross is talking with Jess. I and Matt are silent. Girls next to us are doing homework. Jon is doing his coffee thing.
Observation is a fascinating thing and most people pay way too much attention to it. Looking and listening to people around me I can figure out a number of things. Based off of the music and noises I hear upstairs I can conclude that the people up there either have an interest in dancing or have an interest in someone else who is dancing. I know Jon works here because I see him behind the counter helping customers. I know these girls near me are students because of the conversation they are having and the material in front of them. However, do I know if anything is bothering Matt because he is doing research? No. Do I know what Jon struggles with in his faith because he works here? No. Do I know these girls’ fears just because they are working on homework? No. Observation is a necessity in life, but it is up to us to decide how much we use it and that choice is more important than people think.
There is no way of telling a person’s life based solely off of what they are wearing or what they have. That person with the nice laptop could have gotten it from his parents as a gift while he is struggling to scrounge up enough money to pay rent. Those two girls sitting next to me could be having a great time while they are here, but for all I know one of them could be tormented because she likes the ex of the other and doesn’t know how to tell her and is afraid to say anything because she doesn’t want to ruin the friendship she has. Observation is based solely off of surface which is where it needs to stay. Even though I know the general area of where a person’s heart is when I see them, I couldn’t tell you how their heart is or what they are passionate about. These questions can only be answered by getting to know the people around you.
The idea for this topic hit me tonight but what helped spur it was a video I saw today about this little kid from Africa talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s movie Commando. 9-year-old Alex knew this movie so well and he gave the entire plot with sound effects and movements and everything. It was a great thing to watch. However, what struck me the most was the end of the video. The video ended with a few statements, the most significant ones being “Alex is not an orphan” and “Alex is not a guerrilla fighter.” We have this general idea of kids in Africa being troubled, parent-less and constantly having to make the decision to fight in some way. This video campaign is there to show us that that is not the case at all. Alex is just a typical 9-year-old boy. He likes movies and having fun and he is a very bright kid. However, without the description of the video and the graphics before and after it, most people would probably think Alex was another troubled kid in Africa. They probably would have thought he was in a refugee camp needing food and he just so happened to be the lucky one who got to be on camera. These ideas of what other people are like constantly bombard us because it is easier for us to think that this person is impoverished than to choose to love them and care about them just because of a video that was seen online.
I am also guilty of this on a daily basis. Working in retail I see tons of people come in and out of the front doors and I know there is definitely a few times a day when I make snap judgments on people, sometimes without even realizing it. I have the luxury of actually going up and talking to these people, but helping them find an item usually is not a window into getting to know who they truly are. I found this out the hard way a couple weeks ago. A lady came into the store and wanted a lot of housewares items, more than the typical customer. She was getting place settings and plates, and a vacuum, and some pots and pans, etc. You name it, she probably got it. Well, to start up conversation I asked her if she was moving somewhere because she was getting a ton of new stuff. I come to find out she has finally decided to divorce her abusive husband after 20 years and let him keep the house so she basically needs to start over. I was shocked by what I was hearing and part of me was slightly regretting asking her, but I am really glad I did ask her. This lady was broken and needed someone to talk to. I would not have known that if I would have simply helped her and gone on my way.
The other reason I wanted to write this is because I began thinking about my own life and what people observe with me. I have no idea what people’s observations are of me, but I know for a fact they have no idea what is going on underneath the surface. I know that because no one knows that and even if the person came up and talked with me they still might not find that out. I am very good at masking emotions and whether it is lying to someone about how I am or simply looking happy in a public place I will try and make sure people do not realize the turmoil I am going through. For me, my problems have always been my problems and I don’t want anyone else to know about them because I’m afraid people will simply brush them off and deem them worthless or will judge me for them. The truth is though; those are the times, at least for me, when I need people to ask me how I’m doing and what is wrong. For me that is the only way I will open up.
If you don’t understand this then I am not surprised. I write what comes out of my brain with few filters. I wish this were more focused and less scatter-brained but as long as my point comes across clearly I do not care how it is written. The bottom line is this: don’t make snap judgments. Observing something is one thing, taking it a step further and assuming something is something else entirely. Everyone in this world struggles with something, so don’t be jealous of someone else or “hate” someone else just because it seems like they have it better than you. Doing that will simply make you selfish wondering why people aren’t paying attention to your problems. Trust me: people do care about your problems and do want to know who you are behind what we observe. Sometimes you just have to take initiative in fostering those friendships and conversations with people around you.
Now I sit here. I have moved locations. I am now in my apartment. In my bedroom. At my desk. Looking around wondering what judgments people would make based off of what is in my room. In the end though it doesn’t matter because whether they thought bad of me or not based off of my room, they still don’t know me. This is simply a snapshot of my life. If you want to know me then ask me.
My name is Steven Griswold and I am a recent graduate trying to figure out how to live in this crazy world. Who are you?